Today’s post is about hit counts.
If you are one of those people who regularly check the comment section here at Popcult, you may have noticed that the hit counts on the posts in this blog fluctuate wildly. Sometimes, I’ll bang my heart out, creating what I think is one of my finest posts ever, and hardly anyone will read it. Other times, I can fart out something effortlessly in five minutes and people will flock to it like it’s manna from Heaven.
At one point, I thought this might have been due to the counter here at the Gazz.com not being accurate. To be honest, I still have my suspicions. But I can’t blame conspiracy theories for every bit of strangeness in my rather strange life.
I’ve noticed equally bizarre hit count shenanigans going on with my YouTube account. For example, take a look at the following video:
[kml_flashembed movie="http://www.youtube.com/v/jghxV2vRMmo" width="425" height="350" wmode="transparent" /]
That was the first video blog that I created for The Concept last Spring to help promote their CD release shows. That clip has been viewed over 300 times, which is really good. The curious thing is what happened when I created a second clip. Here, take a look at it:
[kml_flashembed movie="http://www.youtube.com/v/J63uyM1Uz_s" width="425" height="350" wmode="transparent" /]
That is the second part of The Concept’s video blog. This is the one that’s much funnier and way more entertaining. As I write this, less than 30 people have bothered to view it. Why? I have no idea. I don’t know why more than ten times as many people watched the first clip as did the second one. But then, such are the mysteries of the internets.
One thing I have learned is that a surefire way to pump up the hit count of your blog is to mention Soupy Sales, Barack Obama, or very large breasts. There is a large contingent of potential readers out there haunting the Google for new posts and articles on those subjects. They will surf like mad to your site if you so much as mention just one of that particular trinity. And if you include them in your headline, even more people will check out your post just to see what’s going on when they scan the topics at 304 Blogs.
Since I’m not sleazy enough to write a post titled “Soupy Sales, Obama, or Very Large Breasts” without actually mentioning those subjects, allow me to close by mentioning those subjects.
Soupy Sales is a legend of children’s broadcasting and he has special status in West Virginia as a native of some sort. I hear that he’s not feeling too well these days; however, I do know that you can follow him on Twitter. I don’t know if this is really him, but if it is, then he’s way funnier and raunchier than I ever remembered.
I’m very happy and hopeful with our incoming administration. There’s not a lot to be said about him that hasn’t been written. But I do have one question that seems to have been largely ignored by the press. What the hell is the deal with those ears?
Very Large Breasts
I would like to go out on a limb here and go on record with my deep, heartfelt support and appreciation for very large breasts. Not only does the sight of them make almost everyone happy, but there’s nothing more cool in the world than playing with Hot Wheels on very large breasts. It’s truly one of life’s great, yet simple, pleasures.
That’s today’s rambling post on hit counts. Come back tomorrow for an optimistic fantasy about everything wonderful that will happen next year.