I should have known this would happen. Every time I cave in to an indulgence it quickly becomes an obsession and then an addiction. Now I’m hurtin’…bad. Longtime readers of this blog know of my dependence on Spinach. Not just any spinach, but pre-packaged, washed, and currently-unavailable fresh baby spinach. It’s been a week now since I’ve had my leafy green fix. Thus far, the E Coli break out is one of those unexplainable phenomena, like the way the Sears store in the Charleston Town Center always stocks Cleveland Browns merchandise to the exclusion of all other teams during football season. I’m pretty sure it’s a Republican plot to steal the upcoming midterm elections.
But all the conspiracy theories in the world won’t get me a bowl of my favorite veggie. I mean, where the HELL am I supposed to get my folic acid? Vitamins are NOT an option!
So I’m going to have to go slumming. You’ll see me in the seedy neighborhoods looking for the house that has Popeye’s shoes tied together and slung over the power lines out front. I’m not proud, but I needs my spinach! I know, they’ll give me the first bowl for free. Then they start charging. I don’t care, I’m already hooked! I’d even buy a bag if it had a sticker that read “Now With 50% More E Coli!”
I’ve come to the conclusion that anything I decide to eat will eventually be declared unhealthy.