To be clear here, the headline above refers to a truly remarkably awful action figure.
In fact, it’s so bad that it’s entertaining. It’s sort of the “Manos: The Hands of Fate” of action figures.
It’s not a knockoff (at least not of anything I recognize). It doesn’t appear to have any company of manufacture, although it is distributed by a company in Henderson, North Carolina, that I suspect may be a subsidiary of Rose’s Discount Stores, where I found this thing.
While I try not to write negative reviews (preferring instead to simply ignore crap), sometimes something comes along that awakens the Leonard Pinth-Garnell in me, and I have to rhapsodize about the beautiful awfulness of it.
This is such a case.
Police Set Ominipotence
On the way back from our trip to Winterfest (you should have seen the photo essays and video by now), we stopped at Rose’s Discount Store in Lexington. Rose’s is one of my guilty pleasure stores because they usually have a wild assortment of bizarre and amusing knockoff toys. I’ve visted their stores in Virginia, Maryland, Ohio and Kentucky, and may someday venture to the one in Hinton, which is just up the river. The stores themselves seem like some sort of post-apocalyptic Hill’s, arisen from the dead…and that only adds to the charm.
As soon as I saw this wonderful monstrosity, I knew I had to have it…if it was cheap enough. It was the last one in the store, and it appears to have been marked down to $7.99 from what would have been a higher price that would have made me pass on it. It just squeaked under my limit. There is no indication of when this figure was made, so it might have been sitting in this store for decades.
This is a huge, ugly action figure, with five points of clunky articulation, one under-sized accessory, no more than three paint ops on any individual piece (with four pieces having no paint at all), and a delightfully skewed series of slogans on the package, which are obviously the work of someone for whom English is not their first (or possibly second or third) language.
This is a fifteen-inch tall action figure, supposedly of a police officer, and at this point, I need to let the pictures tell the story…
That brings us to the end of this week’s PopCulteer. This poor guy was just so gloriously awful that I had to salute him here in the blog. He gets the last laugh…I have him in the collection now.
Check back every day for fresh content and news and reviews about much better toys than this, along with all of the other cool stuff we cover.